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PART 2: Interpersonal Styles and Self-Awareness
FIRO-B, Transactional Analysis and the Johari Window
Why does one colleague love team lunches while another quietly eats at the desk? Why does a simple question sometimes turn into an argument? And why do others notice things about us that we cannot see ourselves? Three classic models answer these questions: FIRO-B (what we need from people), Transactional Analysis (how we talk to people) and the Johari Window (how well we know ourselves).
2.1 FIRO-B
FIRO-B stands for Fundamental Interpersonal Relations Orientation–Behaviour. It was developed by psychologist William Schutz (1958). The model says every person has three basic interpersonal needs: inclusion, control and affection. For each need, it looks at two things: how much you express (what you do towards others) and how much you want (what you would like from others). The questionnaire has 54 statements and gives six scores, usually from 0 to 9.
The three interpersonal needs
| Need | Meaning | High-need example |
| Inclusion | The need to belong, participate and interact with others. | Enjoys group activities and speaks often in meetings. |
| Control | The need to influence decisions, take responsibility or receive direction. | Enjoys organising tasks and guiding colleagues. |
| Affection | The need for warmth, closeness and positive personal relationships. | Values friendly contact and supportive relationships. |
Expressed and wanted behaviour
| Need | Expressed behaviour (what I give) | Wanted behaviour (what I want to receive) |
| Inclusion | Inviting others and starting interaction. | Being invited and included. |
| Control | Giving direction or taking charge. | Receiving direction or letting others lead. |
| Affection | Showing warmth and personal interest. | Receiving warmth and personal interest. |
The six scores are usually written as eI, wI, eC, wC, eA, wA (e = expressed, w = wanted; I = inclusion, C = control, A = affection).
Reading the combinations (inclusion example)
| Profile | What it usually means |
| High expressed + high wanted | Loves being in the middle of everything; invites others and likes being invited. |
| High expressed + low wanted | The “host”: invites and includes others but does not need an invitation back. |
| Low expressed + high wanted | Waits to be invited; may feel left out but does not start the interaction. |
| Low expressed + low wanted | Private and independent; prefers to work alone. |
The same four combinations apply to control and affection. For example, someone with high expressed control and low wanted control likes to lead but dislikes being told what to do.
Example: why teams clash
If every member of a team has high expressed control and low wanted control, nobody wants to follow, and the team ends up in power struggles. A better mix has some people who like to lead and some who are comfortable taking direction.
Applications
- Team building and team development.
- Improving communication between colleagues.
- Recognising that people differ in how much interaction, influence and closeness they prefer.
- Leadership development and preventing conflict.
Limitations
- Preferences change over time and across situations.
- No questionnaire can fully explain a personality.
- Results should never be used to label employees permanently.
- It should support discussion and development rather than replace judgement.
A high or low score is not automatically good or bad. It only describes a preference.
Exam conclusion
FIRO-B explains how the needs for inclusion, control and affection shape interpersonal behaviour, and helps managers improve communication and teamwork.
2.2 Transactional Analysis (TA)
Transactional Analysis was developed by psychiatrist Eric Berne (his popular book Games People Play appeared in 1964). It explains communication through patterns of behaviour called ego states. A transaction is one exchange of communication between two people: words, tone, gestures and the response.
The three ego states
| Ego state | Meaning | How it sounds |
| Parent | Behaviour copied from parents, teachers and authority figures. Can be nurturing or critical. | “Let me help you learn this process.” (nurturing) / “You always make mistakes.” (critical) |
| Adult | Present-focused, logical thinking based on facts and options. | “The report has three errors. Let us correct them before submission.” |
| Child | Feelings and reactions from childhood. Can be free (spontaneous, creative) or adapted (obedient or rebellious). | “Let us try a new idea!” / “I will agree because I am afraid of criticism.” |
Tip for spotting ego states: listen to tone and words. Parent often uses “always”, “never”, “should”. Adult asks “what, when, how”. Child expresses “I want”, “I feel”, or “I can’t”.
Types of transactions
1. Complementary transaction. The reply comes from the ego state that the first message was addressed to. Communication flows smoothly.
Example
Manager: “Can you complete the report by 4 p.m.?” Employee: “Yes, I can finish it by 4 p.m.” This is Adult to Adult.
2. Crossed transaction. The reply comes from an unexpected ego state, so communication breaks down.
Example
Manager: “What caused the delay?” (Adult) Employee: “You always blame me!” (Child reacting to Parent). The manager wanted facts and got defensiveness.
3. Ulterior transaction. There is a surface (social) message and a hidden psychological message.
Example
“You are probably too inexperienced to handle this client.” On the surface it is about experience; the hidden message is “I don’t trust you.”
Strokes
Berne used the word strokes for any unit of recognition one person gives another, such as a greeting, a compliment or even criticism. People need strokes to feel noticed. Positive strokes (“great presentation”) build motivation; negative strokes (“this is useless”) damage it. Even negative attention is sometimes sought when positive attention is missing.
Life positions
| Life position | Meaning |
| I’m OK – You’re OK | I value myself and respect others. (Healthy, constructive) |
| I’m OK – You’re not OK | I see myself positively but look down on others. |
| I’m not OK – You’re OK | I see others as better than me and feel inferior. |
| I’m not OK – You’re not OK | I have a negative view of myself and of others. |
“I’m OK – You’re OK” is generally treated as the most constructive position because it combines self-respect with respect for others.
Importance and limitations
- TA helps identify communication problems and emotional reactions.
- It supports clearer, more respectful Adult-to-Adult communication.
- Managers can use it to give feedback and resolve misunderstandings.
- People use different ego states in different situations, so the model should not be used to label anyone rigidly.
How to repair a crossed transaction
When the other person replies from Child or Parent, stay in Adult. Calm tone, facts, a question. For example: “I am not blaming you. I want to understand what happened so we can fix it.” Usually the other person slides back into Adult too.
Conclusion
Transactional Analysis helps people understand their communication patterns and improve interpersonal relationships.
2.3 Johari Window
The Johari Window is a model of self-awareness created by Joseph Luft and Harrington Ingham in 1955 (the name “Johari” comes from combining their first names, Joe and Harry). It shows what a person knows about themselves and what others know about them. In the original exercise, people pick a few words that describe them from a list of 56 adjectives, and peers pick words for them too. Comparing the lists fills the four panes.
The four areas
| Known to self | Not known to self | |
| Known to others | Open Area (Arena) Both you and others know it. | Blind Area (Blind Spot) Others see it; you do not. |
| Not known to others | Hidden Area (Façade) You know it; others do not. | Unknown Area Neither you nor others know it yet. |
| Area | Example |
| Open | You know you are good at presenting, and your classmates know it too. |
| Blind | Colleagues notice that you interrupt people, but you do not realise it. |
| Hidden | You feel nervous before presentations but never tell anyone. |
| Unknown | You discover a talent for negotiation only after trying it for the first time. |
How the areas change
- Open area: the goal is to make this pane bigger, because it means better communication and trust.
- Blind area: shrinks when you ask for and accept constructive feedback.
- Hidden area: shrinks through appropriate self-disclosure. People still have a right to privacy, so you decide what to share.
- Unknown area: shrinks through new experiences, training, reflection and feedback.
In simple words: feedback moves things out of the blind area, and disclosure moves things out of the hidden area. Both enlarge the open area.
Importance
- Improves self-awareness and understanding of others.
- Encourages constructive feedback.
- Builds trust and communication in teams.
- Helps identify strengths and development needs.
- Supports leadership development and teamwork.
Limitations: feedback may not always be honest, too much self-disclosure can hurt privacy, and unknown abilities are difficult to identify.
Conclusion
The Johari Window encourages appropriate self-disclosure and constructive feedback, helping people improve self-awareness and relationships.
2.4 FIRO-B vs TA vs Johari: Quick Comparison
| Model | Key question it answers | Developed by | Core idea |
| FIRO-B | What do I need from people? | William Schutz | Inclusion, control, affection; expressed vs wanted. |
| Transactional Analysis | How do I communicate? | Eric Berne | Parent, Adult, Child ego states; types of transactions. |
| Johari Window | How well do I and others know me? | Luft and Ingham | Open, blind, hidden and unknown areas. |
